hm. it is 8:30 pm and i am sitting in my office. and i will probably be here till like 11:30. uncool. it would be ok if i like, got up at noon like most of the grad students but im a freak and i get up early. however, i did leave to go get dinner, but seriously. this is all the kid who was using the microplate yesterday's fault. grrrrr.

anyway, so this is kind of funny: yesterday i was at this breakfast place called afternoon delight. and i ordered the tuna salad plate, and when i was done i say to dave "wow, that was really good tuna salad! i wonder what they put in it?" (the addition of 'really' is debatable here, i contend i never said the word, but whatever). so we go up to the register, and the woman is like "what did you have?", so she could split the bill. and im like "the tuna" and she says "ummmm, you mean the chicken salad?" and im like, omg. i am soooo stupid. and dave is like peeing his pants laughing, and is like, "that's why it tastes so good! it tastes like MURDER!" but the woman is worried cause some people would throw a shit fit at this point, but i wasn't mad, i was more worried about getting sick later. although it was kind of funny. i just kind of ignored the fact that the texture of the tuna was really, odd......hah. anyway, i did get kind of sick later. blech.

The night before last i had a very strange dream, and im not sure what it meant. I was at school, but this school was sort of MIT/Michigan set in like, colorado or something. It was all covered in snow and on a mountain, and friends from both schools were there, so i was really confused as to where we actually were. anyway, so we had just finished finals or something, because everyone was really happy. then i saw joe and jake, except i went up to jake and said "hi joe!" and he was like "hey" but then i realized that i had mixed them up because joe's hair was like, straightened! but no one really cared, but i felt stupid anyway. then we left the school, and i saw my friend shreya and we were going to walk back to our apartment, but then i realized that i had NO IDEA where i lived, even though i knew i had lived there for awhile. this was very frustrating. i was pretty scared, but shreya said she'd show me where it was. then we walked by this pavilion where they were giving out free pizza to students, and siberian huskies, for some reason. so i walked along the pizza line trying to find one without meat, but they all had meat! then i saw a guy making a completely chocolate pizza with little chocolate circles on it, and he says "ohhh, you like chocolate, huh?" and i was like, heck yea. so then i waited but he wouldn't give me any, he just kept putting more and more pieces on the plate until i got frustrated and left.

at this point i realized that i had lost shreya, and i was kinda freaked out, but then i saw this girl darcee, whom i havent talked to ages, and she offered to show me where we all lived. apparently it was like this big group house. anyway, we finally got there, and it turned out to be totally awesome, like this huge ski chalet thing, and we even had an indoor pool/hot tub. but when we got there it was empty and really dark, and i just had this feeling that we were in a horror movie and someone was about to jump out and kill me. so i ran and hid in the bathroom, which was good because the i realized that i REALLY had to pee. but for some reason i was sitting on the toilet upside down, which wasn't working and i couldn't figure out what was wrong. then i woke up. weird.

profundity is a good word

omg. my PI (primary investigator/research advisor) just wrote me an email because she wants to move our meeting tomorrow, and then she ended it by saying "You looked kind of tired when I saw you this morning. Is everything ok?" which translates to: "You look like shit. what is wrong with you?" admittedly, i was more tired than usual today, probably because i have been trying to drink less caffeine, and because i have been thinking about what i want to do with my life wayyy too much, and because it's gross outside today, and i think i have pretty bad SAD.

however, the rain is good because i bought these cute wellies from JCrew with little pink elephants on them, and i've been wearing them around all day and im pretty sure i look like an idiot because they make my feet look monstrous. but i'll have the last laugh cause now its raining.

anyway, just wanted to add that yesterday i was going around all day staring at people because i had my big sunglasses on and knew that they couldnt see me looking. then i realized that i had been wearing my glasses all day. shit.

anyway, yea my life isn't very exciting right now. but i visited boston two weekends ago, and that was really good. i got to see many good friends, and i realized that i actually have more friends back in boston than i thought. also had some much-needed girl time, and people-who-aren't-attached-to-their-bf/gf-at-the-hip time. cause that is just super annoying. boston was beautiful though; i nearly cried when i saw the charles and all the trees blooming and shit. aw, im such a sap these days. beast roast was kind of lame -- i think it has gotten worse every year since my freshman year. and the drama level has steadily increased. managed to avoid certain "undesirables", one in particular whom i snubbed repeatedly, and im pretty sure several people didn't recognize me as i was 'incognito' with my huge sunglasses and short hair. the snubbing was quite pleasurable. and deserved. leaving was like graduating again. it was really sad. i started crying on the plane. seriously. was pretty quiet about it though, pretended like i was sleeping. with really leaky eyes.

so michigan is as droll as ever. although it is really nice in the spring, and everything looks a lot prettier, and i only have 2 months left with my slob of a roommate, so yay. i am about 90% sure that i am going to leave after getting my master's and get a job in consulting. in some big city. any big city. preferably NYC, Boston, LA, or London. not necessarily in that order. however, i have not told my PI about this yet, soooo yeaaaa. but she said I've been doing really good work so far, and that she's impressed, so hopefully i can make myself chill out some. but we all know how well that will work.

also, in case you were wondering, that's the "brainy, nerdy" sailor moon over there. in middle school a couple of friends and i decided we were like the sailor moon girls. obviously i was the smart one. we even had a cute short girl with red hair who was the little pink-haired one. yup, we were pretty cool.

hey look! im not alone! seriously this was me on my birthday, i didn't even know what to eat first.

delicious

seriously, i think i have a problem.

omg
this is fucking awesome. i want to marry these guys. eeek! so cool i am seriously giggling with pleasure.

also, since apparently today is "post-a-link" day, here's an update on Jack Handey for those of you who read my post last october when i finally realized that he was a real person. Mr Handey writes a book!

i think this is interesting. originally, having students with concealed weapons seemed awfully frightening, but after a long argument with one of my friends, who happens to own several guns and thinks this would be a great idea, i realize it might not be such a bad solution after all. lots of issues though. obviously. a good idea might be to train the teachers, and have them carry concealed weapons, but of course the training classes would have to be mandatory and would cost SOMEONE, most likely the university, passed onto the students via tuition, a fair amount of money. anyway, could be a possible solution.

these days, it's kinda weird around here....

last night on the way back from dave's i ran over a raccoon. and then i started crying because why did the damn thing have to run out in the street? why?! aghhhh. im sorry poor raccoon. i tried to avoid it, it went one way and then it turned around and went back the other way and i was like "noo!!! stop!! aghhhhh!" and then there was a thump. and then was like "shit shit fuck dammit!" and then i felt really bad. sad face.

anyway i didn't get the NSF fellowship. but neither did a lot of people. and based on the people that got it, they were really looking for the "atypical" grad student, i.e. someone with a different experience or perspective i guess. the two people who got it in my department are one girl who went to work in a traditional chemE company for 4 years and is now in grad school, and another girl who is mormon and married and commutes every day from downtown detroit. so whatever. i think this is actually better though, because there are other options (like being a GSI) that won't necessarily tie me into another 3 years of grad school, like NSF would. in case i want to leave, of course.

i went home on saturday and caused a really awkward encounter between my mom, her "jdate prospect of the day" and my dad. someone really needs to write a self-help book on how to amicably survive a divorce. i think we're all doing pretty well, considering. so maybe i can write it and make a lot of money and buy some more expensive shoes! anyway, so my mom had a date with this guy she met on jdate, and then he was over, and he was LATE, and they were out in the backyard for some reason, and i called her and yelled "get in the fucking house dad will be here to pick me up to go to dinner in like 5 minutes!" I was in the kitchen watching her btw, but she couldnt see me. i thought the whole thing was kind of funny. then my dad shows up, and is like, "who's mustang is that?" and i was going on about how starving i was and trying to shove him out the back door while my mom was trying to hide her date, without him figuring out he was being hid, around the corner in the kitchen. meanwhile i can barely keep from laughing. it turned out ok though, i think the only one who cared was my mom who called me later to tell me it was all my fault cause i should have walked outside to the end of the driveway to meet my dad. yea, THAT wouldn't have been awkward at all. also i can read minds and i know exactly where everyone is at all times, did i mention that?

a line is just a circle with an infinite radius

so there was a large rubik's cube sitting out in the courtyard of the engineering campus today and it reminded me of MIT and hacks and i was sad. also, i haven't seen that 21 movie yet but i'm pretty sure that if i did i'd burst into tears every time they showed the boston skyline. but i will be coming back in 23 days!! yay!!

anyway, so my birthday was sunday, and i went out with some friends saturday night, and as a result, i think im going to stop drinking for awhile. i was so sick on sunday that i was almost crying at breakfast because i absolutely wanted to die. so yea, i don't ever really want to do that again. but besides that, it was lots of fun! pictures should be up soon, although they are never really that interesting and its only me and some other drunk idiots dancing and being ridiculous.

on a completely unrelated note, last night i had a dream that i had a baby, except that the baby turned out to be a puppy. now it WAS really cute, but i mean, come on, a dog? anyway my dad kept trying to get me to chill out, but i kept yelling, "wtf? how did i have a dog?! i don't care how cute it is, i wasn't going around fucking DOGS now, dad, was I?" i sure hope not. later it started changing into this weird, mole rat-like thing. then i had another dream where i was in some sort of artsy-cake competition, where there were teams and we all had to create some sort of really avant-garde cake and display them like artwork in a gallery. it was kind of creepy and i didn't really like mine. anyway, im not sure what this all means, but i think i want a dog. and i watch the food network wayyy too often.

this is so bizarre: iowa is lame. i hope they actually just all get together a la the simpsons and form a conga line whilst singing "caucus caucus cau-CUS!, caucus caucus cau-CUS!" but they probably won't cause they suck.